Have you ever faced a challenge and felt strong, prepared and winning?
In those moments everything went as you had planned it. Your most important client said yes immediately, at the gym your performance on the treadmill was followed by a round applause, at home your teenage kids asked for you advice and actually followed it. In other words: you felt and were at your best!
These moments are precious, they strengthen our self-esteem and prepare us for the more difficult ones, when we doubt our skills and we question our worth.
In my experience these worries pop up when we have to cope with a difficult personal or professional situation, or when we have to face a sudden and unexpected change.
What’s the impact of these doubts?
Doubts rob us of our strengths by diminishing the awareness of what we are capable of. We become less effective in what we do. We might even withdraw from others and question competencies and capabilities that others see in us.
How to escape this trap?
I use a trick that works every time.
I call 3 or 4 people that know me well – they are not afraid to tell me the truth when I try to get away with something – and ask the following question: “What makes me unique?”
The answer is always related to a strength or talent, so visible that it doesn’t require long reasoning.
When I hear them highlight that specific quality my doubts vanish, and I can make the most of my skills.
Be aware that the question has to be expressed exactly in that form. I don’t know why, but it doesn’t work with similar questions like “What are my strengths?” or “List my talents”. I suppose the magic is in the word “unique”.
Try it for yourself and let me know if it works for you too!